Kids these days

Soon, I will have the option to drive to work. My new route will be easier by car than by MBTA, and the parking is free. But I'm not sure I can stomach the rush hour traffic, and now that the snow has started (over 4 inches this week!) I'm wary of winter driving.

I know, I know, driving is MUCH more luxurious and clean (for an individual, not the environment obvi) and free parking is seriously awesome. But I get a lot of reading done on the T and love love love an aboveground trip.

Plus, if I was in my own little car bubble, listening to Bob Oakes, I'd also miss the awesome people watching.

Earlier this week, I wedged myself into a crowded D line train to ride home. There was NO ROOM to move. That same day on my trip into the city a little gray haired lady had rested her head on my back (leaning her forehead on my coat) while we were standing, so even though I could see the pores on the person's face in front of me at least I didn't have someone napping on my nice wool jacket. A 30-something guy wheeled his little toddler onto the car in a stroller at Longwood, and the people who had been throwing elbows, knees, and computer bags to eke out an extra square foot of personal space all sighed and sacrificed their hard earned breathing room to make room for The Kid in his carriage.

Props to the parent for providing his charge with an activity for the duration of the ride - instead of waxing cranky the kid was busy furiously scribbling away in a coloring book. Actually, it wasn't just a coloring book, but the super fancy schmancy 21st century version of a paint-with-water coloring book - you know, the type where you used to dip a brush in water to activate the paint pigments in a bunch of Disney princesses. They got muddy-looking and the paper was really thin, so of course they dried out in weird ways and Ariel would look more like Flotsam or Jetsam. This book was much cooler, themed "Mickey's Clubhouse" with crisp images that would be revealed as they were "painted" over, and a little brush complete with its own reservoir for water.

So this kid is going to town on his coloring book, pausing every once in a while to bat away a bag overhanging his stroller space. I noticed he was putting a lot of pressure on the "paint brush" and not getting much water out of it. The line between frustrated toddler and Epic Tantrum Situation is super fine, so I considered saying something to the father to help his kid out.

But I didn't have to worry.

The kid glared at his ineffective paint brush. Then he gave the half colored image a good hard look, stuck out his tongue, and did a face plant on the page. He used his own spit to color in Mickey's face.

I looked around the train - everyone was either in a smart phone coma or was lost in a "whatamigonnamakefordinner" stare, and no one else seemed to have witnessed Little Picasso in action.

See? I might actually miss the T after all.

Little Monsters

Oh Gaga.

The show last night was phenomenal. I was on cloud nine. I sometimes have a hard time getting excited about live shows, probably because crowds can make me anxious, but last night was the major exception. Whoever they are, the Haus of Gaga put on an incredible show and I'm so glad I had the chance to go (with an equally ecstatic date, of course).

The respect I have for Lady Gaga as a performer is probably the closest I'll ever get to fanaticism. She's a machine! She was a powerhouse on stage and the thought and attention to detail that went into the show was remarkable. Her outfits - especially the one with the armored gold bikini-esque piece paired with an Egyptian headdress (complete with Anubis ears) and the body suit made out of dissembled machine guns - aren't just revealing. They're cheeky deconstructions of the pop star as a sex symbol. Gaga was carried aloft by her hunky dancers as often as she "fought" them off in her choreography.

Gaga, apparently euphoric to hear about her 5 Grammy noms, declared her love for her fans - but she affectionately calls us her Little Monsters, and spent a lot of the show bating the audience. Her curtain call was part bow/part slouch, during which she bared her teeth at the crowd. And there was no encore, just an odd video close-up of her receiving a tattoo - the word "Dad" inside a heart - while some mournful sounding opera played. She kept the fans - many of whom dressed that night to pay her aesthetic homage - at arm's length.

The contant running of her defenses works for her, and enables the "risktaking" that makes her so fascinating as a pop artist. I'm so intrigued - and it doesn't hurt that her music is like a best-of-the-best amalgamation of pop from the past 20 years and she's got the chops to pull it off. I'm hooked.

Just Dance

Guess who has a new job that starts in two weeks?

And tickets to see Lady Gaga tomorrow?

THIS GIRL.

Yup! These things, career and Gaga, they rate very highly for me.

And alas, Thanksgiving vacation is over already. It was wonderful to be at home, stuffed with turkey and trying out Zumba at the Y with my mom (and an intrepid journalist as you'll see by the link). We saw The Fantastic Mr. Fox (I highly recommend it) and my mom gave me her ticket to see the Sabres beat the helmets off the Hurricanes Saturday night. With the frenzy that's to come with this new job (new position new coworkers new dress code new commute new everything it's so exciting!) and the holiday hustle and bustle... I need another break just thinking about it.

Alright, off to see if I can download some Zumba classes online...

goodness gracious

Sun is shining, it's a bee-you-tee-full day.

Guess what I saw on Friday? A trash can on fire. To be more specific, a Metro News recycling bin on fire. Bet you've never seen one of those before. Yup, I was just standing waiting for the T, minding my own business, thinking about camp and s'mores... Well anyway this lady in a striped scarf walked up to me and said, "Hi, this is weird, but, I have a question."

She broke the code! She acknowledged a fellow T commuter! But no worries, being the friendly, charming person I am I said something witty and intelligent like, "What?"

She gestures behind her and says, "Um, do you think I should call that in?" And I notice the bin with the bag with a little fire inside, crackling away.

My Girl Scout training kicked in and I said "Definitely! You should!" and then I told her she was a good citizen or whatever. And next thing we know there are fire trucks pulling up to put out the fire that has now expanded and engulfed the whole plastic bag in the bin, sending out huge clouds of black smoke. Weird, no? What kind of idiot would set a fire like that? And even if it was an "accident" what kind of idiot would put a cigarette out in a BAG FULL OF PAPER? Hoo boy that was the highlight of my day, I can tell you that.

Then on Saturday, the highlight of my day was seeing a lady put her butt on her head. Bet you've never seen that before, either. This, of course, was at an awesome Cirque Mechanics show in Providence, with amazing clowning, juggling, and contortionists.

Tonight is Glee, which is very appropriate because I am in a fantastic mood and could with for nothing better than to see some campy teenage comedy with musical interludes.

On another note, who wants to do all my Christmas shopping for me?

How-to how-to's

When it came time to make our Halloween costumes, I knew what I wanted but I wasn't sure how I'd get there. Mr. Clean was pretty straightforward- bald cap, white clothes, a dab of white paint on the eyebrows (and don't forget a hunky man to pull it off) ... ta da! But a dust bunny? Not so easy.

I knew I wanted gray - and had the dress and tights to take care of that. I also wore silver heels - they are the most amazing shoes I own, so I can't resist working them into a costume (omg they come in purple suede HONEY ARE YOU READING THIS I'M AN 8.5). The bunny part wasn't hard either - I just attacked a set of ears and a tail from a Spirit Halloween store with a can of gray spray paint. FYI Spray paint is kept locked up in art supplies stores these days as a deterrence to a) abusing the substance and b) defacing public property. What a world we live in...

The hardest part was getting the fuzzy look of an actual dust bunny, but thankfully I stumbled across some help on one of my favorite do-it-yourself sites (fashion and crafting advice, if you will) P.S. I Made This. This girl is amazing, and coincidentally she provided a template for a faux fur vest. Easily modified to create a fuzzy bunny, I thought! Alas, a trip to Joann Fabrics did not yield any well-priced gray faux fur. So I ended up with cotton batting (and another chance to use the gray spray paint). I still used the vest template, though, and was pleased with the results.

The crowning touch, haaa, was definitely my Bump-it. Don't judge me, you're just jealous. I had to give a subtle nod to the most ubiquitous of Bunny get-ups, and big hair seemed a tasteful way to achieve that. Their fabulous site, BigHappieHair.com, features hilarious how-to videos and loads of suggestions for adorning your head with the spiky piece of plastic (available in three sizes).

So there you have it: how to create a unique, one of a kind costume pairing that no one will get and leaves you with loads of leftover cotton batting. Quilting bee, anyone?

Advice Advisor

Another crazy week ahead.

One of my obsessions is the ever-entertaining Advice Column. Relationship advice, business advice, crafting advice, cooking advice, etiquette advice... I LOVES IT ALL. Sure, many columns offer reductive rulings on dilemmas that are really subjective, but I adore nothing more than a witty, hardline take on a divisive issue!

One of the best writing assignments I ever had was in high school, writing the faux-advice column for the paper. Not only did I get to dish out advice, I got to write my own questions too! (give me a break, readership was probably only twice that of this blog) Ah the potential for searing social satire! For subtle, yet pointed digs at my vacuous classmates! Actually I was quite tame but I like to pretend I was very daring.

Anywho. Perhaps this is my not-so-subconscious desire to bring order to my hectic life, which is, as usual, in limbo. So one of the things I'd like to do in my blog writing is sharing the stuff I find most helpful. Advice for advice seekers. This will involve a lot of link love, and I'll try to stick to sharing from "qualified" professionals. As in, career advice givers.

Here are two tidbits (one practical, one pragmatic) that I culled from my latest stroll through Slate, my e-life coach. They are exceedingly useful as they are things I commonly fret about.

How to Charge Your Laptop
Apparently my system of running out the battery adhering to a theory of "cycles" just ain't true!

The Happiness Project: How to forgive an accident
Sounds odd, but very helpful to people (like me) who always sweat the small stuff.

delish

Hiho loyal readers - all three of you! This weekend was a delight - live theater, hockey (an admittedly DISMAL Sabres defeat), and home-cooking galore!

My wonderful gastronomically-inclined boyfriend has requested that I detail his kitchen successes because I allegedly have insinuated an imbalance in our cooking skills:

• A fabulous rendition of Mark Bittman's No-Knead Bread plus all sorts of whole grain goodness
• Turkey stock from scratch which turned into...
• Churkey Noodle Stew

For those of you who don't know what churkey is, it is the word one uses to describe a medley of turkey and chicken. Like turducken minus the duck. And I made apple crisp.