for roast beef fans

I didn't ask for much: It needed to be soft, and not ugly. But not unpretty. And not $2000.

A sofa bed. A pullout couch. A "sleeper," if you will. Easy enough, right?

But the universe thought that sounds too simple. So let's throw some geometry in the mix. It needs to go up a half flight of stairs and then turn a corner in a narrow hallway and fit through a door no wider than 28".

Craigslist, which was oh-so-helpful for finding our couch and chair-and-a-half (a furniture invention so comfortable if I ever become homeless I will strap wheels onto it and push it to Harvard Square to squat in front of Maggie Moo's) was not coming through with a sofa bed. Additionally, no matter what kind of bargain we found on a perfect couch, we would have had to get a UHaul for an afternoon and wasted a full Saturday in rental Hell.

Enter Jordan's Furniture.

Jordan's Furniture is surreal: one part Disney, one part WalMart, one part your creepy Uncle Jake twice removed on your mom's cousin-in-law's side.

But unfortunately...it was convenient. Earlier in the day, we trekked out to Bolton, MA for apple picking and wine tasting at the Nashoba Valley Winery - the whole experience (resulting in half a peck of apples and no less than six bottles of wine) was perfect in every way except the batteries on my camera were dead. My laziness has made me sad. Autumn is my favorite season, I wish it could be autumn all year round, I'd like to deck the entire world out in gold and orange and crimson...

So thank goodness we were in a good mood when we stepped into the alternate universe of the Natick Jordan's Furniture, complete with a Kelly's Restaurant (for roast beef fans), an IMAX theater (for fans of family matinee screenings of All Dogs Go to Heaven II), and a Bourbon St Mardi Gras New Orleans theme hall (for fans of...disturbing animatronics?).

In the end, we picked out a loveseat with a full-size mattress. We were hoping for a sofa with a queen size mattress, but in order to get up the stairs and around the corner (damn you geometry!!!!) it would've had to be sleek and modern and ugly. I much prefer traditional sofas with padding and cushions and comfort.

So it will hopefully be delivered Saturday while I'm in Virginia, and then we can get started on cozying up the room that has so far been delegated Mr Man's Walk in Closet/Place for Pile of Things I Have to Bring to Goodwill.

Next on the List'o'Projects: Soundproofing the exterior walls to block out the late night Klezmer music coming from the Orthodox congregation next door...